Today, I recall with intense
amusement my experience years ago, sometime in 2004; to be closer to precision.
I was an altar Boy, this some
persons still call wrongly, “man servers”, the correct thing being Mass
Servers. I joined late in 2013, August 16th to be exact. In my own
local Parish, there was a very strict methodology of ascent through the rank
and file of the Altar Servers, and as with other ecclesiastical associations
and institutions, there was a very strict discipline and in our own case, this
discipline can be very ‘hot’.
Someone who wishes to join the
Altar Servers must first be a communicant and a devout Christian. The discipline
in the Association was thus that parents, whose children were ‘thick-headed’,
would send such children to join the Altar Servers in order to be disciplined. There
exist, even now, a perceived consensus among many that Altar Servers would
always become priests, partly because of their closeness to priests and to the
Altar.
There was a period of ‘Trial’. This
is a three month period, when a member is tested to see if he can undertake to
bear the rigors of being a Mass Server. At this period, one was not to miss any
single activity of the Association for complete three months. If one misses
any, then he starts afresh! A very important thing to note was that the
activities of the Association was so jam-packed that it requires more than
enough passion and restraint, for one to succeed. Here:
1. Mondays:
practices for football and other games
2. Wednesdays:
learning practices
3. Saturday
mornings: clean up, meeting/sharing of Mass schedule
4. Saturday
Evenings: practices on how to serve Mass
5. Sundays:
compulsory attendance at Masses, Evening instructions and Benedictions
6. Mondays
– Saturdays: compulsory attendance at Morning Masses
After a period of 3 months, the books
of record are checked and one who is adjudged to have met all requirements,
both in keeping with the ethics and norms of the Association is welcomed as a ‘member’.
At this stage, such a person is not yet a ‘Full Member’. The acceptance of one
into the fold begins another journey into becoming a full member. This can take
weeks, months and even years.
Being a ‘Full Member’, one is
accepted fully into the fold and begins the monthly payment of N10.it is from
this group also that persons of character are chosen to lead the Association. Full
members also have the diocesan Identity cards.
On discipline, there was strictly
a very hierarchical system whereby persons who joined the Association earlier
than a new comer takes precedence, even when such new comer is older than the
earlier member. That was the case. Punishments were meted out to offenders of
the rules as enshrined in the constitution.
A typical Altar Knight
Constitution would have penalties - from caning to manual labour, to suspension
and in cases of severe recklessness, expulsion – for as little as wearing shorts
to the Church! The funniest aspect of this was that we feared the Executives –
as we called them- more than we did for our parents; sends a signal?
Our leaders then were much older
persons. Some of them were in Senior Secondary while others have finished
school and was in doing full time or part time jobs. Most of them had bears and
it did seem to us that all of them went to ‘schools of caning’, this is because
of how efficient and stingingly painful their flogging were.
One faithful Saturday morning, we
came for a practice as usual only to meet a vexed executive; his name was Chima.
Chima rarely talks and to add to it, he was stammering. I was called among
those who were absent for a practice penultimate week. There were many of us’ I
was devastated.
I was one of the core loyalists,
feared canes more than so many other things and to add salt to injury, I was
wearing my shorts only, without any inner additional wears. Some of us, because
they were serial offenders, made it a point of commitment with themselves, to
always put on additional wears inside, such that when they are flogged, it won’t
penetrate much.
Then, there was a general cliché around,
‘’EYIKWA M CHAA”, which literally means “I am putting on nothing (inside)”. This
is because our leaders came to observe that most of us do wear double or triple
shorts while coming for practices and as such, they had to increase the
velocity of the flogging. In some cases, they may come across someone who was wearing
only his shorts or trousers and the fleshy sound of “tai” would always follow
when such person is flogged. In order to forestall that, we devised a means of
letting them know when we do not have additional cloths under. This was to make
them reduce the intensity of their caning.
On this Saturday, I did employ
this, but it did not work for me. With tears rolling down my check I kept
telling ChIma, “Chima eyikwa m chaa”- Chima I am not putting on anything inside,
but with each plea came the stinging sound ‘Tai’ ‘Tai’. I left that they with a
personal resolution that I would quit being a member.
Ask me if I did?
I DIDN’T!!! MY PASSION FOR THE
ASSOCIATION COULDN,T FREE ME.
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